she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
