thus making me awesome and them whores
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize