haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
