everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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