Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he shaved USA in his pubs
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
