What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude i'm inner monologue high
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My dick has a subreddit
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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