i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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