My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
