Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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