If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
