like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
