you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
