two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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