can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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