i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
