you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
