I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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