You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
