well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
