so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize