All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
