dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
