Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
