she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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