Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
