a search helicopter?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
