Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
