i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have aggressive nipples.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
and eventually we just all took our pants off
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
