he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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