the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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