goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
