even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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