dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
