I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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