ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
