At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
