Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
