Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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