Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
