so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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