Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
