i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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