Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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