Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
