If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
