Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think my tv is drunk
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
