We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
