He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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