i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize