In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
