Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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