Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
