the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
