I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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