my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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