I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't deserve a penis
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize