the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you will always have a special place in my vag
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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