what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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