Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
