i think my tv is drunk
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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