elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
