I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
