I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize