After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
