i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
