i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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