I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Randomize
