He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
