I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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